Guide: Paris

Dr F has lived in Paris since January 2002 and can just about order a baguette in this Foul Language they insist on using here. I think it's all a plot to drive me crazy. They can all speak English, or they can learn, so why the hell should I have to know how to conjugate a bloody verb. Spik Ingleesh, godammit, it's much easier. Why d'ya think I can speak English and not French? Cos if French was easier, I'd have learned it by now!

Anyway, I have learned, through trial and error, that Paris can be great and it can be crap. Here is a guide to what I think are the Best (and worst) Bits of this fair city. Bon Voyage!

Here are some of the restaurants's I've been to and enjoyed:

"La Méridienne" 18 rue Guisarde 75006 (St Germaine du Prés) 0143295218

Nice Mediterranean food in funky area. Average price.

"Les Galopins" 24 Rue des Taillandiers 75011 (Bastille) 0147004535

Traditional French food, excellent beer on tap! Very good value.

"Les Bouchons" 12 Rue de l'Hotel Colbert 75005 (St Michél) 0143541534

More upmarket French food, higher price, nice atmosphere.

"NOS ANCÊTRES LES GAULOIS" http://www.nosancetreslesgaulois.com/anglais1.htm (Ile St Lois)

Amazing place!!! It's like one of those feasts at the end of an Asterix comic. Raw veggies in baskets, clay jugs of wine, loads of saussison and your choice of meat grilled on a huge open fire. Lots of singing with total strangers on long benches. Best in a large group (4 or more). Price not bad, quite a lot but there's no limit as to how much wine you can drink or food you can eat. Total opposite of Buddah Bar...

"Koba" 7, Rue de la Michodiere 75002 (Opera)

Very rough and ready Japanese food. None of these hoity-toity little delicately-trimmed morsels of fish... this is great jagged hunks of super-fresh, delicious fish in a crowded, bustling, noisy, somewhat seedy place in the heart of the theatre district in Opera. Ask for the "assortement de sushi et sashimi pour (however many there are of you)". Lots of hot Saki at the end. Very good if you've been to the Opera or Theatre.

"L'Escargot Montorgueil" 38 rue Montorguiel, 75001 (near Chatelet Les Halles).

Extremely expensive (almost as outrageous as Buddah Bar) but lovely atmosphere and snails done every which way you can imagine (and some you can't). Wine list starts at 40EUR for a bottle and goes up the the GDP of Kenya.

Favelah Chic is an excellent place for Brazillian food and funky music after. It's in Republique.

Avoid the Buddah Bar. Very, very big load of pooh. Go to Barrio Latino in Bastille rather or even Man Ray, near the Champs Ellyses. Prepare to pay vast quantites of cash for mediocre food, but excellent atmosphere