FIRE/EMERGENCY PROCEDURES - 78 FLEET STREET

From an email sent by my office administrator in London:

DO NOT stop to collect personal belongings
DO NOT risk your own life to save property
DO NOT use the lifts
DO NOT panic or run
DO NOT enter smoke filled rooms
DO NOT re-enter the building until authorised to do so
DO NOT leave the fire assembly point without informing a fire warden

and a modified version from a (skinny) colleague for the benefit of other (non-skinny) colleagues:

DO NOT stop for bacon butties on the way to the office
DO NOT block the office toilet with your fat bloke stools
DO NOT use the lifts - ever
DO NOT run, we will be responsible for broken floors and cracked plaster
DO NOT fart
DO NOT sweat
DO NOT eat the fire wardens, they are there to help.

Maybe this will help