Latest installment in the Burgess Hill Soap Opera

Unbelievable. Friday night I have a heavy session with Cliff and crash at
his. Waking on Saturday and vowing never to drink again, I head home and
decide Saturday night will be a quiet night in with a couple of movies...

best laid plans and all that. At midnight there's a knock at my door ,
it's my next door neighbour who's been walking his dog. He says "Doug,
someone's just gone into your car..." now I thought he meant broken into
because I'd parked my car (the estate) in the office car park opposite my
road, but when I said there was nothing in it worth nicking he said "no, I
mean someones just hit your car". Sure enough, we get to the end of the
road where there's a bunch of people stood and there's tyre marks leading
up the pavement, over the grass verge and leading up to where my car was -
then there's a lot of debris and my car is 2ft back from where I parked it
covered in bits of blue Mondeo.

Get this, turns out some nutter in a mondeo has been driving up and down
the road like a lunatic from about 11.30, doing loud tyre spins and stuff
outside the pub, when my neighbour Paul and his girlfriend Kelly have left
the pub and are nearly home the car come hairing at them up the pavement
forcing them to flee. It's then backed up and tried to run kelly over in
the drive way of a bungalow, the old dear who lives there came out and
saved Kelly by pushing her out of the way. The car has then raced off
after Paul who only managed to avoid it by stopping on the pavement by his
transit which was parked by the side of the road - the Mondeo has nearly
stacked into the back of the van trying to get him. Paul has then legged
it round to get a sledgehammer out of the van cos the doors are a bit
knackered he figured one pull and they would open but the door handle came
off, so he's legged it again, this time down my lane to his house to get
something he can defend himself with. At this point the car has tried to
catch him but it missed the lane, its skidded to a halt just passed Lotties
car then backed up at high speed, missing lotties car by millimetres he
then lost control and went straight up the verge into my car making a huge
bang which half the neighbourhood heard. At this point Paul has appeared
with a baseball bat and the nutter has made his escape off the verge fast,
again missing Lotties car by millimetres. Loads of people by this point
have seen what's happened and heard the bang etc. and 3 people have rung
the police giving the cars reg number.

It was 2am by the time we'd all finished being interviewed and I'd finished
proving the car was mine etc. given a statement and bagged up the evidence.
Amazingly though, considering the mondeo was travelling "exceptionally fast
in reverse with it's tyres spinning and gearbox whining" when it smashed
into my car, mine is completely undamaged apart from a dent in the front
bumper and various scratches. Apparently half the back of the mondeo was
hanging off though and there was loads of debris from it.

Today I will find out if they have caught someone and whether the police
will be dealing with it as just "an accident between 2 vehicles" or
attempted murder.

Never a dull moment. I hope your weekends were slightly less eventful.